How do you measure your own success? Success means different to every individual. And by success, I mean the accomplishment of your life goals and dreams.
I believe each one of us has their own yardstick to gauge what we have accomplished in our lives. Some uses relationships, some money, some achievements, some titles, some the places they’ve been to.
But what if you don’t have your own success yardstick? Chances are you might end up thoughtlessly following other people’s yardstick set upon you. Or you could end up comparing yourself to the accomplishments of your peers. Just like what happened to me.
I rarely check my Facebook newsfeeds. And once when I did, I was greeted with travel photos of my batchmates. They’ve been to Europe, America, and other parts of the world. And goodness, it made me look down on myself.
Without warning, a question popped in my mind: what have I achieved at this stage of my life? Some of my peers have spread their wings and soared, while I was like a chicken busily clucking on the ground. I was once a student-leader back in college. I had high expectations from myself.
I know that this situation is not unique to me. There are also others who have felt the same way too. Some feels down because they didn’t finish their degree, others because they left the corporate world, still others have no means yet to get what they want.
And seeing our colleagues and peers enjoying the very things that are out of our hands is enough to look down on ourselves. So what to do when you feel down and small in comparison to others?
Well some will say that don’t compare yourself to others. I wish that’s always easy. It’s not my habit to compare myself to others, basing from what I know about myself, but that feeling of being down and small or maybe envy automatically came to me without my permission.
So if you happen to have felt the way I did, maybe you can find this coping strategies useful.
1. Create your own success yardstick
What does success means for you? What do you value the most in life? Do you value quality relationships, material possesions? educational titles?
Your values will define how you will measure success. And if you are clear of what is most important to you and if you are happy about it, you won’t be easily swayed by the successes around you.
2. Remind yourself of your priorities.
When sadness began to settle down, I had to remind myself the path I chose and the priorities I set for myself. Yes, I may not be able to see the other side of the world yet because we chose to invest on our young business and on my further education. Every small step upward to my lifegoals I consider a success, for me and my husband.
3. Count your blessings
Look back into your life. Don’t forget that you already have accomplished a lot in your life. Maybe you’re doing a good enough parenting (that’s already great!), maybe you’ve harnessed a skill, maybe you’ve established your own business. Congratulate yourself!
All through the years, surely you have received a lot of blessings: good health, good relationships, and other forms of blessings. They say that happiness is wanting what we already have. So yes, make it a point to count your blessings.
Or maybe the best advice I could give is, don’t check your Facebook newsfeeds at all, LOL! A study has shown that Facebook could cause depression. But anyways, I know that’s not possible for most of you.
So, that’s what I did to stop myself from feeling down. It’s normal, actually. But what matters is we don’t wallow in our self-pity and learn to tap ourselves in the back.