INFJ Diary

Dismayed over graduate school

It’s nearing August and already I can see myself going back to school. For those of you na ngayon lang napad-pad on my blog, I’m taking my masters in counseling psychology, which, I think would take me ages to finish. And that is what making me impatient and upset right now, argh!

Looking at the initial course offering of Psych department, I was really expecting that I’d be able to finish all my courseworks this year, provided that I would take two subjects on first sem and two on second sem. I felt lighthearted thinking that by summer next year, a bunch of major loads would be compeletely gone from my back. I felt like dancing!

But just this week, the department has issued an updated schedule of course offering. And to my utter dismay, I could only take just one subject and the other subject which I am supposed to take was removed from the list. There is no way I’d take three subjects on second sem, I don’t want to have another academic suicide. What this all mean is that I probably need to extend one more semester to finish my courseworks!

One more semester doesn’t sound a lot, but there is also the thesis and practicum which could take me an additional year, yet I’m not so much in a hurry about them than finishing all my courseworks. I just want all the heavy courseworks off my back already, having done that would give me total relief, and I could breathe easier.

This really makes me feel like there’s a log on my chest.

But there’s still a window for waiting, a window of hope. There’s still one week for the schedule to change. Yes, based from my previous experience, the schedules do change. And I’m really really really praying to God, pleading Him, to please please add one more subject that I could take during the first sem. Yet at the same time, I’m also praying that if my wish won’t be granted, I hope for the grace of acceptance and patience.

Sometimes I feel like I am fine with the idea of prolonged graduate school, but there are times when deep inside of me I’m resisting, that no it couldn’t be, I want to finish all my courseworks this year! Maybe the reason why I’m feeling this way is my expectations, and yes, impatience.

But anyways, it isn’t in my hands now. I guess what I really want for myself now is the grace of acceptance. If I would be able to take two subjects this sem, then Yay! If not, then I’d still be okay.

Hay… Lord, Lord, Lord, be it done to me and on my personal goals according to Your will.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *