INFJ Diary

Feeling Empty

There’s a void in my heart that I couldn’t explain. It’s as if something is missing in my life that makes me unhappy and empty. These feelings are pronounced whenever I am bored, alone, or at times, even with other people. And when I analyze it, which I often do, I would think that maybe this is because of my lack of active ministry that I love, or maybe this is the lack of intimate friends that I used to have. I’m not really sure.

To feel unhappy and empty is uncomfortable that I wish to get out of it. As a response, I would get busy looking for things and activities to satisfy me, and looking for people to hang out with. And when I realize that those are not what I’m looking for, I would be disappointed again, and would return to the state of unhappiness and emptiness.

But now I have learned to appreciate unhappiness and be comfortable in its company. I guess it is a good thing. Because if I have everything I want and needed, then there’d be no reason for me to seek God and depend on Him for true happiness.

I remember what I have read before: all of us has a void in our hearts  that only God can fill. Some people fill the void with sense of achievements, some with unhealthy relationships, and still others with busy activities. So when I say that I’m lacking in this, I’m lacking in that, I’m probably attributing the void inside to all what is lacking in my life. When in truth, they really are not.

So instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I’ll just focus on God. Instead of filling that void with activities and friends, which I think will make me happy, I’ll just fill it with God’s presence. I would seek His company first, and let Him fulfill the desires of my heart according to His will. As the verse said: Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you.

To end, I would like to share with you a beautiful prayer that I found on an android app. If there are times in your life that you also feel the same way I do, maybe this prayer could fill your empty heart.

Fill up what is lacking

Father, Your Word promises that You will be my sure foundation, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge. Forgive me Lord, for I know that I often look in other places for strength and stability and miss Your blessing in my life. Forgive me for the times that I turn to the wisdom of the world, instead of turning to You. I am so quick to take matters into my own hands and do what is right in my own eyes. Teach me to pause, to seek Your face, wisdom and counsel. You have said in Your Word that if I lack wisdom I should ask, and so I ask Father, give me Your wisdom, I pray.

Guard my mind today against worldly philosophies. May I be rooted firmly in Christ!

In the situations that I face at work, home or school, may I know Your mind and be wise in all I do. Keep me from error, and I ask for Your wisdom especially in regards to… (pray through your schedule and concerns)

May Your wisdom be evident through me as I engage those in my life with whom I have relationship.

I declare my dependence upon You alone, the source of all knowledge and wisdom and I ask that You give me wisdom from heaven that is: 
pure (reveal the hidden motives of my heart Father!); 
peace loving (may my words build others up and promote unity I pray);
considerate and submissive (may my thoughts be of the needs of others-teach me to serve!);
full of mercy and good fruit (may I be a dispenser of Your great grace);
impartial and sincere (may my actions flow out of my love for You – help me to love like You love).

Strengthen me today, remind me I pray to live-out what Your Word says – that I might be like a wise man who builds his house on a rock, that regardless of the storms that come against me, I might not be moved. In the Name of Jesus, who is the Word. Amen.

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