INFJ Diary, Journal

How do I love Thee?

Dear Lord,

Suddenly, I feel like not doing anything, blog, forum, read, chores, nothing. Last night after a soulful praise and worship during the Caring Group, I got spiritually high. But when we got home, I was back to normal again.

There are times, that I don’t feel any love for You. And I know, You don’t deserve it. I’ve been apathetic to all the blessings You’re giving me. I have forgotten how to be grateful.

How do I love Thee?

How do I show my love for You despite my spiritual dryness? How can I pray when my mind is preoccupied and my body is tired? How can I practice Your Presence while I do my chores? How do I read the  Bible when nothing is registering? How do I pray when I don’t feel like praying?

The practice of mindfulness? Of making an effort to always be aware of Your Presence, wherever I am, whatever I do? It really takes discipline to be Your disciple. But I will do that. I will try again. Will ask the Holy Spirit. I will make an effort.

Thank You for the love when I don’t do anything to deserve it. Thank You for the out pour of blessings when I don’t do any to earn it. Thank You for Your ever presence even  whenI don’t take notice of it.

You are such a great Father, oh God. Why don’t I give what is due to You. Oh, I won’t be hard on myself anymore the way You are not to me. Just help me, help me love you. Help me live in You.

Nova

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