Parenting

How Parents Show Overprotection, Rejection, and Emotional Warmth Towards Their Children

As moms it would be nice to assess ourselves in the parenting department every once in a while. Do we act in a loving or rejecting manner to our kids? Do we overprotect them which stifles the development of their independence? These are just some of the questions worth pondering about.

In this post I will be sharing the items I adapted from a modified parental behavior questionnaire called Egna Minnen Betr¨affande Uppfostran (EMBU). It’s a swedish measure that assesses parents’ rearing behaviors.

So here are the statements you can ponder about:

Overprotection

  • You want your children to reveal their secrets to you.
  • You want to decide how your children should be dressed or how they should look.
  • You tell your children what they should do after school hours

  • (aside from their homeworks and assigned chores).
  • You know exactly what they are allowed to do and what not.

  • You don’t allow them to decide what they want to do.

  • You take care that they behave by the rule

  • s (despite having too many rules).
  • You watch your children very carefully.

  • You think that you have to decide everything for your children

  • (e.g. club to choose, hairstyle to have, friends to make)

Emotional warmth

  • When your children are unhappy, you console them and cheer them up.
  • You like them just the way they are.
  • You play with them and are interested in their hobbies.
  • You listen to them and consider their opinion.
  • You want to be with them or be in their company.
  • You show that you love them.
  • You and your children like each other.
  • When your children have done something stupid, they can make it up with you.
  • You give them compliments.
  • You help them when they have to do something difficult.

Rejection

  • You tell your children that you don’t like their behavior at home.
  • You treat them unfairly.
  • You wish that they were like somebody else.
  • You blamed them for everything that goes wrong.
  • You punish them for no reason.
  • You criticize them in front of them and in front of others.
  • You keep a grudge towards them.
  • You beat them for no reason.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Hope the statements here helped you reflect on your parenting journey as it helped me. It may have validated you on the good practices that you’re doing, and gives you the message to keep on doing what you were doing. And for that you deserve a tap on the back.

On the other hand, it also may have showed you areas of weaknesses and reminded you of the past actions you have done. And that’s okay. There is no perfect mom. Thankfully, every new day gives us a chance to become better parents for our children.

Way to go mom!

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