Sometimes, I feel that I’m not enjoying motherhood. Those are the times when my sleep gets interrupted every morning, the times when Yesha keeps on latching and latching as if she has a bottomless stomach, the times that she keeps on crying and crying that I don’t know what she feels and what she wants me to do, the times that I feel I have no life anymore, the times that I am bored because I have no one to talk to. My life right now is very monotonous. What happened yesterday will what happen today and tomorrow.
But don’t get me wrong, I love my Yesha very much, that’s why I’m willing to do those things over and over again. I’m willing to sacrifice my comfort and my convenience. I know, sacrifice is one of the main ingredients of motherhood.
I just have to find ways to fill my love tank so I will have more love to give to Yesha and to my hubby. Oh yes, I realized, it’s been a month that my prayer and scripture reading time have been dry. Seems like God is calling me again to spend time with Him. As what Psalm 1:2-3 said:
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers”