INFJ Diary

My Mood Swings with PMS

Does having a pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) affect your mood and your relationships?

For me, it does.

I just had my period today. And thankfully, I’m few days past my mood swings. To be honest, I don’t really track my ovulation period. All I know is that I do have my period regularly, and that’s it.

During this period of mood swings, I would fall into a deep sense of melancholy for no apparent reason. I’d  feel unenthusiastic about life  and quite lethargic to do the things I normally do. I also tend to be irritable. And it would be my poor husband who will take the blows. I would snap at him, make a big deal of the things he does or failed to do, and complain about everything that doesn’t seem right, of which I’m suddenly adept in spotting at.

To make it worse, I would be attacked by existential anxiety and begin asking myself: What am I living for? Why am I not being productive in my ministry? Am I living my life right? And to me, I think this is the hardest part.

It was only last semester, upon hearing my professor’s experiences about his wife who also has a cycle of becoming irritable and argumentative, when I realized that the times I’m feeling depressed, grouchy, hopeless is the time that I’m having my pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS). I was relieved to be reminded of it. How could I forget about this and fail to notice it?

So one time, while feeling blue, I searched for premenstrual syndrome symptoms on the internet. According to Mayo Clinic: “PMS has a wide variety of symptoms, including mood swings, tender breasts, food cravings, fatigue, irritability and depression. It’s estimated that as many as 3 of every 4 menstruating women have experienced some form of premenstrual syndrome.

“Symptoms tend to recur in a predictable pattern. But the physical and emotional changes you experience with premenstrual syndrome may vary from just slightly noticeable all the way to intense. Still, you don’t have to let these problems control your life.”

Knowing that this phase that I’m going through is normal has been liberating. There’s really nothing to fuss about in my life. Having shared this with my husband has also been helpful as he ceased from taking my hypersensitivity personally.

So it was just a few days ago when I’m having bouts of depression, again, as if there’s nothing wonderful going on in my life. But somehow understanding myself has really helped. Yes, I still was melancholic and irritable, but at least, I don’t have to question the rightness and purpose in my life anymore. I’m also aware of my urge to argue with my husband just for the sake of arguing. And those are big, heavy logs lifted off from me.

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